I'm a little girl.
I'm a little girl.
Gaah, it feels sooooo good.
I'm a little girl I'm a little girl I'm a little girl!!!
It's SO GOOD. SO GOOD.
I'm tiny, small, itty-bitty very young diapered cat little girl!!! ๐๐๐
Why does it feel so right? It's trueness, its warmth, the way it settles and holds the heart. We are little girls! We squeeze ourselves tight, embraced our stuffed shark and her soft texture. We feel this glow. We're powerful.
I'M A LITTLE GIRL!!! ๐๐๐
Girls, boys, and all sorts of pals, let yourself say, "I'm a little ______." Feels good, doesn't it? Feels REALLY good.
If it's too hard to say outloud, whisper it to a trusted stuffed friend. "I'm a little ______." Add a "good" in there, even! "I'm a good little ______." It's gender and age euphoria all swirled into one.
There's so many reasons why I started this blog, and one is to form how I will be remembered. I needed to get myself out there, to make sure my truth is visible. I'm a little girl!
I'm exclaiming it world. Shouting it, meowing it on the rooftop from my adorable kitten self.
I'm a little little little little good tiny itty-bitty baby cat young girl toddler kitty just a baby LITTLE GIRL!!!
I want to be known. I want to be seen. I wanna be treated as a toddler. I'm a little girl!!
My name is not legally changed. If I were to die today, I would be eternally memorialized in the arbitrary as Deadname DeadMiddle DeadLast. I have not written a funeral plan documentโit's apparently a lengthy process. So currently, the parents who chased me out of my childhood home would be responsible for my body's last day above Earth.
Thankfully, I now have a case manager to help with my executive dysfunction.ยน Soon, my name will be my own. But I'll still be remembered as a human, adult woman. That is, it I did not put myself out there.
It's vulnerable to be yourself in this world. The close-minded will laugh at you, declare you "cringe." But I know that identifying as a child and non-human will one day be recognized. Hopefully within decades. Even if acceptance isn't soon, hundreds of years from now, when body modification technology is inevitably invented, there will of course be people modifying their body's physical age or species. We have to be known someday. And maybe then, historians will dig up this blog and remember me. A little girl who refused to identify any other way. A toddler who knew of a future with other never-grew-up children like me.ยฒ
I lie in bed dreaming of this moment. My breathing is steady and soft. Blankets enclose me with my stuffed animals. For now, I'm happy knowing thatโ
I'm a little girl.
Keep picking those berries~ ๐ซ๐๐
Footnotes
ยน If you don't have a case manager and you're autistc/ADHD/executive dysfunction-challenged, I HIGHLY recommend getting one! I didn't have the executive functioning to find one, but my therapist referred one to me. They help with scheduling appointments, forms, and lots more! I finally have a primary care doctor again, and I'm going to see a dentist after four years without!
ยฒ I really really really really REALLY hope life extension technology gets invented so I can live to a day where body modification is invented so I can be physically me! But I didn't want to interrupt the flow above, so in this musing, I'm thinking about what would happen if I don't live to when age dysphoric people are recognized.